Monday, April 26, 2010

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04/27/2002

Today, eight years ago, Sarah has abandoned us.
is gone Still it - asleep in the arms of her dad. But it never goes completely. It will always remain in my heart and my thoughts and I will never stop loving it!

Was she still sometimes thinks of us?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

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From the soul spoken

Jeannée me today by the daily Crown: Dear

Eyafjallajökull,

I'm a fan of you! Granted, I'm talking easy. I plan it for next time or a flight still sitting my wife, my Daughter and my dog somewhere in overseas fixed, but are at home in the cozy ashless Döbling. But it's not going to ...
... prefer the Icelandic Eruptionist, but about how you, a completely unknown until recently Islander, a nobody, show us where God dwells ...
... vorführst us mercilessly and our arrogant high horse breaks down, where we have, allegedly the crown of creation, felt so sure.
you spit and burp a few times, and to develop previous isses and it's double our Tüfteltechnik with snooty jetting around the globe, with expensive-President, Chancellor and Minister of flights ...
... and stunned we are facing an "international chaos" and do not know what happens to us. Trimmed to those of you normal size due to us, but we have suppressed for too long and forgotten.
Eyjafjallajökull Dear: For me You're the great hint that the sky grow our trees can not, as we do ...
are ... a Warner, wants to host us, "More humility, your people would be high time!"


Copied from today's newspaper crown - Posted by Jeannée
and is nothing more to add!

Monday, April 19, 2010

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reset ..

I'm depressed! In my life .. up to this point and no further.
The last two weeks I had such bad anxiety like never before! And here it is. Even Michael has felt that something needs to happen, and now I have a therapist. Accident - or providence of God ... Michael has met with a therapist, and I immediately made an appointment.
a long time I'm thinking about doing another treatment. Bettina, my last therapist has achieved good results and I even offered to work again with me further. But somehow it was not right for me.
I have much belongs in me calls out with my friends, my husband and my sister. Many things in these discussions have broken down. And last Wednesday it was finally time.
My first date .. Loved it! And now I know why I did not want to Bettina. I think this work-up phase, I have to do with a man. Who knows what's coming to light, all of which aufscheint in me .. and I'm sure I'm right here.
After this date, I went back out thus solved. The load which the last few months has placed on my shoulders and caused me pain was gone.

Now I look very eagerly awaits the next few months, even with a little fear in me because only I know what everything is inside and what I need ausprechen everything. And I know many probably still nothing ..
It is certainly a hard be time. Tears will flow and rage will make broad, I will feel sadness, and some will surely come hard on my lips. But it is .. I'm ready!

And every time, will remove the fear in me, do take a small step out of my body. Not quite, he has already told me she is very soft before, but I'll learn to handle it. And that's good!

Then I'll enjoy the summer, with all the little and big pleasures that he is preparing. My doctor has now told me to relax for a few days .. and I will .. sailing in May. Full of expectation, I count the days until we get into the car and ultimately then again sail boat. Out on the lake .. play with the children, without thinking about what to do yet .. read a book (or more) .. drink in the evening enjoy a glass of wine and chat, listen to the water, breathe the air and let go the fear. So it will be.

Even the last few days I started to concentrate on the essentials - the children, my family. A beautiful and relaxing weekend we have spent, in spite of work we have found time for us as a family. Michael also has a Saturday afternoon a few hours, took time off and spent the time with us. So I'm

so hopeful and so full of confidence that everything will be fine!

And .. a big thank you to read all the here and me reassure award, always there for me .. I am very glad to have you all!

Thursday, April 8, 2010

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09/04/2001

This is her birthday. Sarah's birthday ... and this year almost breaks my heart when I think of it. I do not know exactly why, the last years I always thought it is easier, but this year it does not happen to me.

morning so she would have turned nine years old. How it would have been with her. What kind of person she was, what characteristics and qualities they have.
In my mind when I think about how our lives would have been, then I do not think that she was sick. I forget that she had never been able to move. Do not sit, not stand, do not jump and run. She could only sit in a special chair. And if I think it again, I'm happy for her, that she was redeemed.

So much gets out into oblivion this time, it fades with each passing day, and actually you do not want that, but it happens. The thought of Sarah will be less. But they are still filled with love and that will never change!

Sarah, I thank you that you have chosen me as your mom. Thank you, for the time you've spent here, for everything you've given me.

And I hope you have a wonderful birthday up there in the clouds - with all the star children!